Archive for March, 2012

March 30, 2012

Project 52 | MEDICINE

52:13

Love is:

MEDICINE

Heart medicine. Love in sickness as well as in health. This is what we did this week… loved each other back to health. It was a rough week (I’ll spare you the details) but nothing else matters when the babies aren’t well. Poor Omar has been scrounging everyday for towels & a clean pair of underwear. My mom and dad wore out the pavement on the backroads from our house to theirs. I washed bedding. And bedding. And more bedding. And I cried because Lucas missed his starstruck performance. Ya, you heard that right… they are the poor babes wracked by a terrible virus and I’m the one feeling sorry for myself! At one point, after days of this “shut-in-ness” and not enough vitamin D or showering, Luke began asking relentlessly to play Candy Land for the gagillionth time. I took a deep breath and instead of biting his head off (like I felt like doing,) gave him the run down of the next hour… that I was going to SHOWER, SHAVE, BRUSH MY TEETH, PUT EVAN TO NAP, EAT MY LUNCH, and then we would play as much Candy Land as he wanted to. He says, “OK Momma, turn on that shower, put toothpaste on your toothbrush, put it in your mouth, and LET IT RIP!” Oh boy, this boy… he has the ability to push me to my very last limit. And just when I think I can’t do another day of this (again, poor me, THEY are sick) he snuggles into me, hugs me and kisses me and tells me that he’s so grateful he’s not alone. That I take such good care of him. That when I hold him he feels better. Love is the best medicine. Holding each other through the scariness of being sick. 144 hours (& counting) of uninterrupted time at home, bonding with my guys. Kicking butt at Candy Land. Giving up what doesn’t matter, for what truly does. Love is the heart medicine that has gotten us through.

***

To enjoy other wonderful Project 52′s, click on the links below!

styleberryBLOG | Love & Life | Lucas & Mahina

March 27, 2012

Project 52 | CHOOSING EACH OTHER

52:12

Love is:

CHOOSING EACH OTHER

“Sometimes being a brother is BETTER than being a superhero.”

~Marc Brown

This week was Lucas’ second and last field trip for Kindergarten, and we went to the zoo.  I was planning on chaperoning and making it a special day to devote all of my attention to Luke.  He said it would be a perfect day if Evan could come.  I am not sure what he enjoyed more, seeing all of the animals, or watching Evan discover them for the first time.  It is so surreal to watch them grow, and grow together.  And even after all of the arguing and bickering as they learn to work their stuff out, they choose each other.  Every time.  I am so proud of Lucas and how he handles his relationships with Gabe (who talks and plays through hugs and smiles;) and Evan, who wants and takes EVERYTHING that Lucas has with toddler ambition.  It can’t be easy being in the middle, but I know it will build in him a character that accepts and overcomes.  I have already seen this happen.  Love is choosing to have your brother with you on one of the most special days of your five-year-old life… wanting your built-in BFF with you on the journey.  I love watching my babies choose each other.  

***

To enjoy other wonderful Project 52′s, click on the links below!

styleberryBLOG | Love & Life | Lucas & Mahina

March 16, 2012

Project 52 | PERSPECTIVE

52:11

Love is:

PERSPECTIVE

I get very distracted by sunsets.  I have to stop and watch and try my best to capture it on the camera.  (To the major exasperation of my loving father, I took the above sunset pic while driving down Hwy 5 in Friday traffic… eeek! and yay… I got it!) I can’t help myself!  Really it is Mom & Dad’s fault I love nature and especially sunsets so much.  When I was growing up they were always stopping to point out God’s amazing beauty in the sunsets, the powerful surf of the sea, the refreshing, cleansing rain.  One night they woke my brother and I up at some crazy hour to witness an electrical storm.  The four of us huddled on the front porch to see lightning flash, and count the seconds until thunder boomed.  IT. WAS. AMAZING.  I will never forget that night, and somehow all of the times they pulled me aside to point out the natural world around me became engrained in the fabric of my life.  It changed my perspective from someone who lived, to someone who lived in God’s amazing creation, to someone who should take responsibility for how I treat and respond to nature.  In 2003 my perspective took a tailspin.  The words “your son is blind, he will never see again” hit me so hard that for a second, I couldn’t see… I couldn’t hear anything but the blood pumping through my head.  My response to the well meaning doctor was something like “you have to be kidding me… you’re lying… how will he ever see a sunset?”  In the early days of Gabe’s life there were many things we had to grieve.  Though we had a beautiful son the doctors projected that he would probably not walk or talk… he was headed for a lifetime of surgeries.  But nothing hit me as hard as the physical loss of his eyesight.  I would pack my little man into the Baby Bjorn and walk the two blocks from our house to a little hill where we could watch the sun set, and transform the sky into a mosaic of color.  I would watch him for any sign that he could see the beauty, and every time lay down that desire once again.  He didn’t see it… and he wouldn’t see it.  But I kept taking him out there, and one day my perspective once again changed forever.  As the sun was setting I held my now two-year-old in my arms and I just hugged him and watched…  as the warmth of the sun washed over us, I could feel his body melt into mine.  I realized then that he saw the sunset… not with eyes, but with every other sense.  He felt the warm sun cool as it dipped below the horizon.  He smelled dusk, which until then I didn’t know had it’s own refreshing, musky scent.  He chuckled from deep within as the breeze picked up and ruffled his curly, wispy hair.  He saw the sunset with his whole body, and what I was grieving in his blindness, God was rejoicing in;  in this special son who saw the sunset in a much more profound way than we could imagine.  This was the beginning of a life of changing perspective.  Loving Gabe has changed my perspective.  Life continues to hold a deeper meaning thanks to “seeing” through Gabe’s eyes.  

***

To enjoy other wonderful Project 52′s, click on the links below!

styleberryBLOG | Love & Life | Lucas & Mahina

March 12, 2012

Project 52 | FOUNDATIONAL

52:10

Love is:

FOUNDATIONAL

 Love does not travel alone…when love shows up, so do joy and peace and grace. When love shows up, fear finds the door.

~Margaret Feinberg

As far as gushy moms go, I think I’m the gushyest.  When it comes to my kids I can’t help myself.  I hug and kiss and hold and snuggle and tell them I love them as often as I can.  I do it because that is what’s in my heart and because I feel like it.  They, on the other hand wipe off my slobbery kisses and generally get embarrassed when I gush in front of others.  The other day I asked Lucas (for the 80 millionth time) if he knew that I loved him.  Slightly exasperated he says, “yes, mom, I know… In fact probly all the WHOLE world knows.”  Little stinker is “probly” correct.  And that is ok with me because when it has to count, I don’t want him to question it.  When it feels like that whole world is against him I want him to feel my love and know without a doubt that he can count on it.  I hope that all the times I chose to invest intentionally into his emotional well-being will someday become a foundation he can stand secure on… that he can find refuge in the security of being loved. I hope that for all of my relationships but especially for my boys.  It is a gift my parents gave me that I don’t take for granted.  It is the love and desire God has for us, a gift best shared with others to fully articulate its scope and depth and breadth.  There is no other gift as critical or life-sustaining or foundational in this ever-changing life.  

***

To enjoy other wonderful Project 52′s, click on the links below!

styleberryBLOG | Love & Life | Lucas & Mahina

March 5, 2012

Project 52 | BLOSSOMING

52:9

Love is:

BLOSSOMING

…as it does every season.  But to get beautiful blossoms is to endure the other seasons as well… the bare winter, the painful pruning, the constant and consistent care and attention to detail.  It is patience during growth, joy and gratitude and diligent, timely work in the harvest.  And it is realizing the beauty of the sweet blossom, before it is too late.  Enjoying the blossoming stage of love is a sweet window of time that passes much quicker than the other seasons.  We need to slow our pace and soak it up, and not take those moments in time for granted.

***

I am so grateful for those of you who take the time to read these pages.  This is a project directed towards my boys, things I hope they come to realize as they grow up.  I don’t mean to come across as a know it all, but from the outside I know it may seem that way:)  Lots of love, and thanks for your kind words and encouragement.

***

To enjoy other wonderful Project 52′s, click on the links below!

styleberryBLOG | Love & Life | Lucas & Mahina